oh baby you... you got what i need

super exciting update in the life of yours truly! i still do not have a real job! it's totally shocking, i know.

actually, i got a serious yelling-at last week for my consistent late arrivals. i had agreed to be in by nine and was definitely not sticking to it (actually arriving somewhere between 10 and 12). i guess my boss finally had enough of my shit and she set me straight but good. to be honest, if i was her, i would have done the same thing. i've been taking advamtage of a loose system. but i've been coming in by nine all week and i think i can keep it up - though self control is not exactly my middle name, i need a good reference.

i might not be leaving this job soon, though. someone is going on maternity leave soon, and there's been a rumor going around that they want me to stay and fill in for her until february when she returns. no confirmation or offer has been made yet. if they do ask me, though...i'm thinking that i'm gonna ask for more money. they pay me peanuts as is and hell if i'm gonna do more work for the same price.


i'm thinking right now about becoming a big sister...it sounds like a good idea to focus on improving someone else's life instead of just thinking abut myself all the time. plus, i think i could be a good influence on a young girl's life. at least, i hope i could be. i feel like doing something good for the world, and hanging out with kids seems like a good way to do it. i don't think an hour a week is enough, though. two to three would be much better and allow more of a bond to be formed between us. now i just need to find references who'll vouch for my totally awesome big sister skillz. with a z.

i'm also thinking that i'm going to grow out my hair again...i'm tired of fussing with my bangs everyday. but they do cover up my forehead quite nicely. right now i'm leaning toward having longish bangs and hair to the top of my boobs. i think that would look good, but i would definitely not go too long so as to keep it looking at least somewhat professional.

in further news, this post is quickly proving that i may need adderall.

SHUT...UP

i was listening to "this american life" the other day (which, btw, is the greatest radio show/podcast ever created and if you don't listen to it, you should) and they had a segment about that voice inside your head. people described what the voice tells them, and how it justifies things so that people can do what they want to do. i realized that mine is totally the same way. for example, last night i went shopping and bought some new things. as shallow as it is, i like my things, and i like getting new things. the voice told me that it's ok to get some new things because i haven't in a while, and i was taking back a pair of shoes so it was ok to get stuff with the money i got back because it was already spent anyway. some days, it tells me that i don't have to go to the gym because i don't look that bad and my body is already appreciated by my boyfriend.

i talked with him (my boyfriend, not the voice) about this and he said that the more you become aware of the voice, the quieter it gets. to which the voice replied, "what the fuck does he know? and why does he think he's so smart? i'm smarter than him! the voice doesn't get quieter, it just gets easier to fight!"

honestly, i feel like i can't win.

anyway, this discussion about the voice then lead to a discussion about the existence of god, which is a frequent trouble topic in my mind. i revisit this same subject at least twice a week. i want to believe in something bigger, but the part of me that can't let go of the need for absolute truth has a hard time with the whole "faith" concept. also, i have lots and lots of issues with religion and the afterlife. if only one belief is the correct one, then billions of people are going to hell! and if only some beliefs are right, which ones are they? is the entire jewish population screwed because they don't believe in jesus? even though they're the "chosen people"? why can't i just follow my own religious path? can't i just do what i believe and hope for the best?

my boyfriend suggests that i go on a spiritual quest of sorts so that i can decide what feels right to me. i already feel as though i follow my own set of beliefs (mainly: do the right thing) but i have decided to take a different approach, as odd as it sounds...if god exists, god will prove itself to me. i may be screwing myself over when the apocalypse arrives, but this is the path i have chosen. (cue ominous music)

on a totally unrelated and tangental note, i really really like kanye west's new song.

i still don't have a real career-type job. but that's another post.

maybe i'll keep up with this more in the future.

so close i can taste it

on sunday, i celebrated my 22nd birthday. i went home for the weekend and spent some lovely quality time with my family. it was actually quite nice! lots of family came to see me and wish me a happy birthday, and i'm going to get a very practical gift from my parents of a fake tooth implant..weird, i know, but i've been wanting one for a while so i'm very very excited. the only problem with going home is that practically no homework gets done, so i'm taking off work early today to go home and finish my test for my last class. pretty amazing, i know. in addition to the test, i'm going to proof everyone else's papers (in my group) and put together our final report. i will most likely not be sleeping tonight. but that's ok, because it's all over on wednesday evening :)

this weekend, my friends and i are going to have a birthday dinner and bar hop downtown. that should be interesting. on my 21st birthday, i drank irresponsibly (not too much, just mixed) and was really sick the next day. on sunday, i have to work from 12 to 3, so i definitely can't be drinking like that. plus, i think that the medication i'm taking aggrivates the effects of drinking. this isn't necessarily bad news, since my body has a tough time handling alcohol anyways.

the boyfriend countdown has reached two weeks! i'm missing him terribly and i'm very excited for him to come home. it's going to be the best reunion ever :)

riddle me this

ok, kids. why is it that when i look for a flight for one person, the price is substantially lower than when i search for a flight for 5 people? haven't airlines ever heard of bulk discounting? it's insane...if 5 people are flying, that spreads out the fixed costs associated with running the plane more than one person flying does. those savings should be passed on to customers, but they're not. so what gives?

another conundrum that i have is with people who drive under the speed limit on the way to work. it puzzles me even more when the car that said slowpoke is driving is supposedly a "fast" car. whatthehellareyoudoing? do you not have somewhere to be right now? lucky you that you don't have to work and get to take lazy morning drives, but the rest of us are in a bit of a hurry! get the frick out of the left lane, mofo!

i am happy to report that i only have three class periods left until i am finito with my undergraduate degree! yessssss! i am so excited to not have class...plus, this will be the first time in summer that i don't have a course during the second half of summer. fawesome. i don't even know what wonderful things i am going to be doing with myself in all my free time! (joking, i don't actually have a ton of free time!)

my schedule will probably go something along these lines:
total hours in one week: 24*7= 168
eating: 1.5*7 = 10.5
weekdays: work 9-5+ (40 - 50 hours at most)
weekday nights:
hip hop dance on thursday nights: 2 hours
softball on friday nights: 4 hours
weekends:
yard/house work: avg 9 hours
sleeping: 8*7= 56 hours
left over: 37.5 hours!

that's 37.5 hours a week to spend on spending time with friends and family, looking for a job, reading, watching movies, shopping, playing music, creating art, working out, cooking, or whatever else i feel like! that is so dope. i will be doing my best to squeeze the most that i can out of those hours. maybe i'll take another dance class...or perhaps a spinning class! oh, that would be sweet for my buns of steel :)

also, i have about 20 days to go until my boyfriend gets home, meaning i'm halfway there! ahhh! i'm so excited to see him. i will most likely be tackling him in the airport...and i don't care what anyone thinks.

the usual bitchfest

good news, everyone! my boyfriend's mouth is now whole again, as he is sporting a lovely set of new front teeth. and at a third of the normal price. spectacular!

school will be over shortly enough - 12 days from tomorrow. i am sorta kinda counting down the seconds. however, these next two weeks will be work-filled and stress-ridden. wish me luck.

right now i am, as almost always, at work. i loathe the idea that i spend more time working than i do in the outside world. maybe i can get a job that affords me more time out of the office than in it. because it's not the "working" part that bothers me, it's the part about sitting in a cubicle for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. i recently saw a surveillance video of this dude freaking out at work and destroying the office, and i can sort of understand his pain. when i think about the fact that i've got YEARS of this crap to look forward to, it make me really sad inside. thank goodness i'm getting paid, or else none of this shite would be worth it. i'm also looking for more "career-like" jobs right now. my preference is toward something in the area that doesn't sound like a scam (which happens a lot when you're looking for a marketing job) and doesn't include the word "intern" in the title. i'm getting a little frustrated by the lack of real jobs available though, as a vast majority are either telemarketing or sales, both of which i hate. i can't stand being sold to, therefore i refuse to do a sales job.

"Right now, this is a job. If I advance any higher, this would be my career. And if this were my career, I'd have to throw myself in front of a train." - Jim Halpert

in other news, i have the house to myself for the next two weeks, save for the next two weekends, in which i will be traveling to my hometown for various reasons, including attending church and going to an eye doctor's appointment. i will also be celebrating my birthday and father's day. my mom asked me a month and a half ago if i was coming up for father's day, to which i replied, "but that's my birthday." she replied, "uuuhh, yeah" which basically meant that she didn't care whether o not it was my birthday, it was father's day that day so i needed to come up to them (instead of them coming down to see me.)

i know that i'm getting a little too old to make a big deal about my birthday. a good general rule is that when no one else cares about your birthday, you no longer have any right to make a fuss about it. however, i was planning on celebrating with friends that weekend, but i can't, as i will be two hours away from them. it's just annoying to have plans but them have them broken by your mom, who doesn't give a shit what you want to do, just what she wants you to do. i also understand that you can't have things both ways...my parents still fund my existence, so i can't NOT do what they want me to do. i'm ready to be financially independent so that i'm no longer leashed. i know that sounds terrible and i'll probably hate myself in the future for being such a selfish bitch, but i am frustrated right now.

i used to have a friend who tried all sorts of things to cut me off from my parents he didn't understand how you could live away from home but still be under the control of your parents. he didn't do what his parents said, even when he was still living at home. he felt that he was old enough to do what he wanted. but he didn't understand that it's not about age. it's about money. and as long as my parents financially support me, i am under their control. that's just how it is. and there's nothing that i can do about it, other than to get a job, make money, and move out or start taking over mortgage payments. all that, and stop complaining about it.

which is difficult, as i complain a lot.

yet another aspect of my personality that i have to either own up to, or change. sometimes, i discover something about myself that i really don't like. this complaining thing is one of them. but that's why i have a blog...so i can infest the internet with my stupidity, while (trying to) keeping other people free of it. what i really need to do is get my head out of my butt, fix the things i don't like about myself, and get over the things that i can't. i am sure the world would be a better place for it. actually, in all likelihood, the world wouldn't give a shit, because it never did in the first place.

revelation for the day over. i'm out.

substantial evidence

i have come to the conclusion that my boyfriend and i suck at life without each other :)

maybe not really, but since we've been apart, he's broken his front tooth and i've gotten sick enough to (probably) go to the hospital today.

so this is awesome.

fyi: coke zero + brownies = awesome

ahhh, work. that delightful daily chunk of life that is sucked away from me. how i love you so.

actually, work isn't all bad. it's a time for me to catch up on homework, blog (occasionally), and read articles on cnn and nymag.com. and work. sometimes. just kidding.

anyways. my wonderful boyfriend is about to leave me for five-ish weeks while he goes to poland and russia. FUCK. there goes half of my heart... i will most likely be sloppily blogging about the extent to which i am missing him over that period of time. be prepared for some extreme sappiness. and occasional crying.

speaking of crying, i have been kind of an emotional mess lately. i don't know what it is, but my usual brand of light stoicism has given way to full-blown teenage girl emotional wreck city. not cool. it probably has a lot to do with the aforementioned departure of my favorite person. i am not preggers, i assure you. however, it seems like the littlest things can set me off. like a cancer commercial... that was embarrassing. but i'm feeling kinda moody, and with no real reason as to why. i think i need to start working out again. then i'll be able to blow off some steam while getting a hotter bod, and i'll be too tired to pay attention to whatever little thing i would normally decide to let bother me. plus, there's a lot more shit that's happening in the world right now to worry about my so called "feelings"...hormones are way less important than cyclones and earthquakes in third world countries.

and speaking of things being crappy, i am sort of hating my last undergraduate class. i am praying that june 18th gets here quickly. my spring semester went well though - 3 a's and one a minus. not too shabbayyyy.

i will be taking a trip out to pittsburgh to visit some family this weekend. it should be an enjoyable experience, though i have a feeling that my cousin will try to get me outrageously drunk, which my body absolutely cannot handle. boo :( oh well! i'm planning on having fun anyway, regardless of whether or not i throw up until i pop a blood vessel in my eye.

one thing i do have to look forward to over the coming weeks is the return of summer! mmmm, my favorite time of year. i'm going to probably go out a ton with firends and just generally try to have the best summer that i can. i'm also going to take a hip hop dance class, join a softball league, and since i'm 21, go to as many shows as possible. i also have some wonderful friends, and i know that they'll keep me occupied with things to do in my temporarily single state. thank goodness for them :)

aaaand i'm spent.

story time

i was supposed to be done with finals today. i had two super hard ones on the same day too! anyway, i was getting ready to go to school and take my final this morning when my phone rings. someone from my class asks me, "are you ok?" and i replied, "yes, why? oh no, what time is the final?" he says,"uhm, i just got done taking it." i thought he was kidding, but he was not.

the class is at 10:30 usually, so i thought the final was at ten. it was not. it was at 8. my friend called me at 9:40.

i completely flipped out and drove to school as fast as i could. this final is worth 50% of my final grade, and i could have just wasted an entire semester worth of work because my dumb ass didn't find out the right time.

i busted in the room at 9:58 and there were still a few people left. my professor's face lit up and he said, "there you are! i was worried about you!" by this time i'm on the verge of tears and about 4 people have called to see where i was.

so i sat down, ready to accept my fate of failing the class. however, my professor (who is a former vice president of mastercard international, btw) says, "it's ok. i'm gonna let you take the test, but can you do it thursday night? i have meetings to go to right now."

i nearly passed out. by this time, i was so worked up, i started crying a little anyway. i thanked him profusely and promised him that i would be there. i also wasn't the only one who had missed the final!

my prof told me that he knows i'm a hard worker and that he thinks i'm a good student, so he was worried when i didn't show up...which is always a nice thing to hear.

moral(s) of the story:
- sometimes, when you screw up, you get a second chance.
- work your butt off and you'll get rewarded.
- when in doubt, find out!

p.s. this professor knows that i keep a journal, so as i was leaving the room to go to my car and let out my barge of emotions into my steering wheel (i had a lot going on, i needed to cry it out!) he says to me, "hey, you've got a great story to write about today!" it made me laugh a little, mostly because it was true. it is a good story.

now i have to go study a bunch and kick the exam's ass. redemption shall be mine.

my two-second update

omg FINALS. brb.

oh rly

oh goodness, a new blog within a month! land sakes! the world's gone mad!

well...right now i would usually be in class, but i slept very little last night (due to putting together the biggest group project of all time) and i fell asleep while trying to read around 3:30. in my chair. at my desk. i was o-u-t for at least a half an hour...in a chair. so i figured, when i woke up around 4, that i should take a little nap until 5ish, when i was supposed to go to school for class. that didn't happen. i was dead to the world until 6ish when i woke up in a panic because i was supposed to go to class and do discussion questions in class and take a quiz. however, i hadn't read the chapter and wasn't remotely prepared, so i decided to stay home instead. i know, it's bad to skip class, but i figured it would be okay just this once. plus i have two drop quizzes in that class, and this is the first one i've missed. so it's not that terrible.

or maybe i'm just trying to make myself feel better.

anyway, this morning my group turned in this huge strategic investigation on coca cola that we've been working on constantly. it ended up being about 32 pages of explanation on what coke does, where, how, why, when, what they should do, etc. it got tiring quickly, so i'm glad it's over. we also got an a on a case we wrote about stabucks, and i got an a on an individual case analysis! this seems like no big to most people, but my professor is kind of a genius, and he has really high standards. i love my business strategies class...this prof is so smart, it's a little ridiculous. plus, he's entertaining. oh, and he is the former president of three big companies, and the former vp of mastercard. so that class is definitely worth my time.

and...today he gave me a huge compliment. he told me that i am a very good writer, and i'm "obviously a head and shoulder above most other people in my class." this guy isn't the type to dole out compliments like candy, so it meant a lot. i definitely have to step up the game now, because good is never good enough.

in somewhat depressing news, the company that i really want to work for was featured in the newspaper as being a great place to work. so now i feel like i'm going to be pushed out by more "qualified" people. i would live to work for this company, though...they really are amazing and they are exactly what i want to do, marketing and advertising solutions for outside businesses. i'm definitely going to go in soon and hand-submit a resume and cover letter and try to get some face time in. i sent one via email almost a week ago and i haven't heard anything back, so maybe an in-person visit will help the cause.

speaking of causes, i know of some orange juice that's in desperate need of drinking. i feel obliged to help out, because it's a pretty worthy cause.

blog? more like blugh.

ok my little sparrows. i know that you have (not) been waiting in eager anticipation of my return. i know the strain was almost too hard to bear. but fear not! i will not abandon you. i'll only make you wait for a while.

i suppose i'll write a bit more in this thing when i am out of school.

speaking of school, i am currently writing in here as a means of semi-procrastination (or maybe full-on procrastination) on writing my part of a large group paper on coke. as in, the kind you drink. anyway, this project is life-sucking mastery at its finest. a complete analysis of every portion of coke's strategy is not exactly the most fun way to spend your life. good news? it's almost over. the paper is due on thursday. this information is two parts yipes, one part yipee.

other things that are no parts yipee include my current state of mind. i have been feeling very off lately, like i'm in a weird mood that i can't shake. it's kind of a sad-meets-frustrated-meets-angry-meets-confused-meets- what the hell is this crap kind of feeling. again, to rehash a previous sentiment, does being aware of this mood make it any less valid? my boyfriend has this kind of annoying habit of trivializing it all by saying that i'm just overwhelmed. did i mention that i hate it when my feelings are trivialized? it's like someone says to you, "i know you think you feel a certain way, but you don't. and if you do feel something, just get over it. it doesn't matter." this is the point where i have to step back and say to myself, "self, in the long run, this doesn't matter. and they're only trying to help you, even if they are being insensitive. also, everyone goes through periods of time where they experience emotions. they will pass."

trust me, i realize i'm being weird. and possibly a bit hypocritical (see previous post about pretentious quarterlife show. that was a different story...their "condition" was far more accelerated than mine will ever be.) i realize it, and yet to some extent, i can't help it. to some extent, i can...like when i realize that i'm being bitchy, i stop. that's simple. the harder thing to do is to stop feeling things. that one takes a little more zen master and a little less mental spazz, the former of which eludes me and the latter of which has been my mentality for just about my entire life.

i need to write this paper now. that would be beneficial to all parties involved.

i think i'll move to australia.

effin' a, cotton

so right now, i am officially on spring break. this is both a good thing, and a bad thing. it's a good thing because it's a break from school (but not work...i'm actually working more to earn some money) but it's a bad thing because i know that after break is when all the crappy work of the semester starts. after break is when everyone starts freaking out about group projects, and classes go through the material faster, and individual projects start needing to get done. guh. thankfully it's only a month and a half of hell, then i only have one more class til i graduate! wowowowowow. how did that happen?

speaking of graduation, i seriously need to figure out my career gameplan. i could start by actually applying for some jobs. that could help.

in other news, i am feeling slightly irate right now because i finally broke down and took out the garbage that's been sitting on the back porch for the better part of a week now. my sister has this habit of putting the garbage right outside the door and then just letting it sit there for a godawful amount of time instead of taking an extra minute to walk to the garage and put it in the bin. it's as annoying as all hell to me because i hate walking by it every day and knowing that she does too. and in the summer, when she does the same thing and the raccoons tear into the bag and scatter garbage around the porch, she still won't take care of it! i waited for a week the last time it happened and she never cleaned it up. i got so pissed that i just did it myself. needless to say, it was gross and infuriating. i need to tell her to cut it out. seriously.

i also had a test tonight that i studied all day for. i went in feeling pretty good about it. things got better when the professor told us that it was open book and note for the essay section. flipping sweet. it was a nice end to the week.

my stomach's about to eat itself. i gotta go.

peace, love, and beats.

welcome to the world, baby

hmmm. i am in a funk today. i don't know what it is, but i'm feeling really off. does knowing that you're in a funk but not knowing what to do about it make it any less funk-ified? probably. it's at least a step in the right direction.

i'm really tired of winter and being cold all the time. i'm tired of hating 2 out of four classes and feeling apathetic about the other 2. i'm tired of trying to convince myself that i want to do homework and i want to study, but really, i don't. and i'm tired of sounding like a whiny 5 year old when i really need to grow the hell up.

i watched some of this new show called "quarterlife" and it was some of the most pretentious drivel i've heard in a long time. it was honestly quite terrible! the show revolved around a group of 25 year old people who collectively wallowed in their self-induced misery while subsequently wondering, "what does it all mean? what am i doing with my life? will i ever be happy/satisfied? etc etc etc."

fucking spare me.

i will not ever be like that. sure, i have off days (who doesn't) but i refuse to let my life be ruled by an emotion that could quite easily be quelled by simply removing your head from your butt. hey, i realize that you're confused/lonely/apathetic. so is everyone else. get over yourself. life is what it is, so just go with it, try to have a good time, and stop worrying so much about what's going to happen. trust me when i say this to you: everything will work itself out, one way or another. just go with it.

i'm still working on that last part myself. i realize that i worry about things that i probably don't need to and don't even want to think about things that i probably should be, but i'm working on it.

for example, just today i decided to stop bitching to myself about my weight issues and joined a website to help me count calories and stay on track to lose some pounds before summer. i don't think that i'm fat by any means, i'm just not where i want to be. and if i learn how to take care of myself now, it'll be easier to maintain in the future. no big.

switching subjects now... today in my philosophy class i got yelled at by my teacher...twice. he's kind of a self-righteous dude who doesn't like anyone even whispering while he's talking, or about to talk. he asks if anyone has any questions or comments a few times during his lecture, then interrupts students with his own opinions while they're talking and talks over them until they are forced to quit voicing their opinions. anyway, i was talking to a classmate before class today and didn't realize that he was wanting to start class. next thing i know everyone is staring at me and the prof says something along the lines of sarcastically asking if he may start class. that kinda ticked me off because i felt the way that he handled it was unnecessarily embarrassing. about half way through class, after i had written around two pages of notes on pretty much everything that comes out of his mouth, i glanced over at my friend's notebook and noticed that he had about two lines of notes. i laughed quietly to myself and when my friend asked what i was laughing about, i made a hand gesture that indicated he had a small amount of notes where i had a lot. my prof then called me out and was like, "do you have an observation that you'd like to share with the class? because if you do, we'd like to hear it. otherwise, i expect you to pay attention." i felt like a 3rd grader all over again. i realize that he has a short temper and doesn't want anyone fraternizing in class, but again, i don't exactly appreciate being called out in front of my entire class. it was just frustrating and humiliating. don't tell other people not to talk while you're talking but then talk over anyone else whom you "allow" to speak.

gah. i need a nap. sorry for the randomness.

my celebrity best friends

inspired by this post on pajiba, here's who i would hang out with and what we would do if i could choose any celebrity for a friend.

breakfast at an obscure-but-delicious diner with john cusack
bowling with the superbad boys
mix-tape making with quentin tarantino
sunning on the beach / deep talking with johnny depp
shopping with rachel bilson and grace kelly
putt putt golf and general hang out time with ellen page
baking and decorating cupcakes with justin timberlake
rock band / general jam session with brandon boyd
bar kareoke with zooey deschanel
paintball with heath ledger
going on a walk and talk with natalie portman
dinner and drinks with the ocean's 13 cast
sleepover with flight of the conchords (jermaine and brett!)
getting ice cream with the cast of i heart huckabees

other celebrities that would be cool to do anything with: phillip seymour hoffman, edward norton, joseph gordon-levitt, wes anderson, brendan fraiser, tim burton, helena bonham carter, kate winslet, jim carrey, patton oswalt, zach galifinakis, shia labeouf, simon pegg and nick frost, etc.

it could happen.

dammit

i really liked heath. boo.

two points for honesty

one of the more brilliant moves by my professors was deciding to incorporate peer evaluations into their grading of group projects. what this means is that everyone in the group rates / grades each other and turns them in to the teacher, who takes the scores and comments that your group members gave you into account when giving grades. i had two group members in two separate projects who were totally not with the program. one of them was a single mom with two kids, so i kind of understood why she wasn't as involved as she should have been. but the other one...

i've worked with this girl before and she was a bit of a handful. her priorities lay with her boyfriend's wishes (who was also in that group) and not with what the rest of the group wanted to do. i had pretty much an a+ in the class before we turned in the group project. when they turned in their portion (it was a three-part project) my grade in the class almost went to a b because they got a c- on it. needless to say, i was peeved. i didn't want to work with her again, but she pretty much got in my face and asked to be in the group this time around. i thought i would give her a chance because she was no longer with the boyfriend, and she might do better work. and i was wrong! it figures. this is my comment section on the peer evaluation form for this project. it's exactly what and how she did, i am making nothing up.

"I really feel as though (name here) did not contribute as much to the project as she could have. Her work, on the whole, was really terrible and incomplete when she turned it in, and the rest of the group would have to turn around and do research that she should have done to fix it. Her writing was also atrocious and she would claim that she “didn’t know if her writing was crap” and so we would have to help her fix everything. She also was very resistant to putting in time and effort in this project. She did not pay attention to the things we discussed in group meetings and was much more focused on getting out of the meeting or watching a Colts game. She also had her boyfriend (who is not in the class, nor has he ever taken it) do the research for her. So when she brought it to the meeting, she didn’t know the significance of it. When we asked her to do more she said she would just “have her boyfriend do it later.” In conclusion, I did not find her to be a productive group member, she leeched off the other members, and I will never work with her again."

i know that i'm pretty much posting this for the world to see, but i felt the need to let it out in a big way. i also want to say that i have been reluctant to give bad reviews to group members in the past, but i'm not afraid anymore to say how i really feel. i gave this girl a lot of chances to fix her work and i even told her how i felt, but she continued to play games about not knowing the quality of what she did. so, i'm calling her bluff. if she has any issues with me doing this, i'm all up for talking it out. i'm just not going to be taken advantage of anymore!

ugh. seriously.

deep breath...aaaaand....i'm over it.

in other news, finals are almost over. just two on monday, then a semester and a summer class until i'm done! i'm going to do some research on advertising agencies in my area, as well as in chicago, nyc, florida, south carolina...i'm pretty open at this point, and i think it would be neat to move out on my own for a while. plus, it would teach me some more self reliance, which goodness knows i could use a dose of. speaking of which, i need to go make myself some dinner. popcorn, anyone?

hammer time

1. Where were you 3 hours ago?

in my house, cleaning

2. Who are you in love with?

he knows who he is

3. Have you ever eaten a crayon?

uh... not that i can recall

4. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

yes. a tiny little sweater on a tiny teddy bear that reminds me of someone i used to be very close with, and i miss him. damn you question 4!

5. When is the last time you went to the mall?

a week ago

6. Are you wearing socks right now?

nope

7. Do you have a car worth over $2,000?

it was when i bought it...but now? depends who you ask.

8. When was the last time you drove out of town?

couple of weeks ago

9. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?

nope, no time

10. Are you hot?

no i'm actually quite comfortable, thank you. i'll turn on the fan if i am.

11. What was the last thing you had to drink?

pomegranite bluberry juice

12. What are you wearing right now?

fleece, sweatpants...a.k.a. my boyfriend's least favorite outfit :)

13. Do you wash your car or let the car wash do it?

depends on if i'm home or not. last time i washed my car, i got to see someone very special, so i might do it again in the spring and see if it works.

14. Last food that you ate?

rice krispie treat! yum.

15. Where were you last week at this time?

some place

16. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?

a sweater for $10 and gloves for $1

17. When is the last time you ran?

in the fall

18. What's the last sporting event you watched?

a pickup football game

19. What is your favorite animal?

human being

20. Your dream vacation?

hm, toughie. i love going to greece, but since i've already done that, i would love to stay in a very private luxury hotel in the fuji islands.

21. Last person's house you were in?

mine

22. Worst injury you've ever had?

i'm pretty lucky on this, so i'd have to say when i broke my arm in 5th grade

23. Have you been in love?

well i used to think i had been, but now i really starting to know what love is, so i can say that i am now, for sure

24. Do you miss anyone right now?

i always miss someone

25. Last play you saw?

inherit the wind

26. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?

i don't need one, i'm a girl...that pretty much solves the problem of attracting the opposite sex

27. What are your plans for tonight?

go to bed

28. Who is the last person you sent a MySpace message or comment?

ew myspace is for stalkers

29. Next trip you are going to take?

home for christmas

30. Ever go to camp?

not really

31. Were you an honor roll student in school?

uh yeah, still am...i don't mess around

32. What do you want to know about the future?

will i be happy with my life?

33. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne?

never do

34. Are you due sometime this year for a doctor's visit?

yeah, just a checkup to stock on more meds, though

35. Where is your best friend?

at his house

36. How is your best friend?

stressed, but other than that, he is wonderful

37. Do you have a tan?

goodness no, and i refuse to fake it

38. What are you listening to right now?

cucurrucucu paloma. one of the most beautiful songs i have ever heard.

39. Do you collect anything?

music

40. Who is the biggest gossiper you know?

well, everyone talks, so...

41. Last time you got stopped by a cop or pulled over?

about a year ago when i had my brights on by accident and blinded a cop, he oulled around real quick, pulled me over, looked at me and my i.d., then let me go. what a weirdo

42. Have you ever drank your soda from a straw?

no, it takes away from the experience

43. What does your last text message say?

nunya bizness

44. Do you like hot sauce?

when it's called for, sure

45. Last time you took a shower?

this morning

46. Do you need to do laundry?

yep, doesn't everyone?

47. What is your heritage?

50% greek, about 15% irish, the rest american

48. Are you someone's best friend?

i think so, but you'll have to ask them to make sure

49. Are you rich?

oh if only

50. What were you doing at 12AM last night?

sleeping. gloriously sleeping.

hm. what now?

i've decided on something. i want to make films. unfortunately, i need a lot of time, and money....so this dream will have to wait for a couple of years. but it won't die. i've wanted to do this for a while. now i just need to figure out what to make a little film on.

i find your lack of faith disturbing

this is pretty much what my brain looks like right now.

it's crunch time, people. with three-ish weeks left until i'm done with this semester, i'm definitely flipping out a little. okay, maybe i'm flipping out A LOT. i know that all the work will get done, but damn. there's just so much of it to do.

i'm fine with taking finals. individual tests are no problem because i control them and i know exactly what to do to do well. but group projects are a totally different story. coordinating schedules? nightmare. splitting up the work and getting everyone to do a decent job on their parts? don't even get me started. it sucks because we've all got three or more group projects to do at once (thanks, business school!) and we all have a hard time fitting our lives around everything. most groups are pretty good, but i've had a few nightmare members...they don't do their work or don't show up to meetings or don't communicate with the group or do terrible work. sometimes it's a combination of all of the above! i hate dealing with those people. i used to be more timid and just correct their mistakes or do the work for them, but i've turned into more of a meanie now and i make them fix it themselves. i know it sucks, but they had ample opportunity to do a better job, and i refuse to turn in somebody else's bad work and have it reflect negatively on me or on any other member of the group that worked hard. plus, somebody's got to have a backbone, or else those members will just walk all over you again in the next project.

but off the soapbox for a while. i probably won't be sleeping much over the next week. that's okay though! what has to be done will get done. and then i can spend my vacation researching jobs and what warm city i want to move to.

switching subjects: winter is cold. i don't like it. so, i wear running tights underneath my jeans. i know i probably look silly and crazy when i show people, but i don't care. i am warm and cozy in them. when the wind blows, i can't feel it. it makes me happy. at least that way, i can pretend that i live in a warmer city.

also, random note: i wrote a ten page term paper in 3.5 hours last night. holler! hopefully i get a good grade on it, fingers crossed...because it's worth 30% (!) of my grade.

ugh. now back to work.

gah

i have a big test tomorrow. and my kitchen is flooding underneath the floorboards due to a leak in the dishwasher. awesome.

oh puh puh

this weekend wasn't too bad. i had a meeting at work on friday that i thought would either be really good (as in, we like you and we want you to stay) or really bad (as in, well now that your boss is back from maternity leave, we don't need you anymore). luckily, it went well and i get to keep my job for a while! i went to a few bars and saw a few shows on friday night, and even ran into someone that i work with pretty closely. it was fun to get to know her on a bit more of a personal level.

on saturday and sunday, my parents visited, so it was nice to get to see them. i went shopping with my mom and picked up a few christmas present ideas. this is good because it's pretty hard to shop for her normally.

i held a focus group last wednesday for one of my class projects, and i brought someone that was only there for the food and was not helpful in the least. i let him have it a little today before class, and he even apologized for being untalkative. but i wasn't in the best of moods anyway, so i might have taken some of that out on him.

speaking of which, i'm finding myself growing irritable at a lot of random things lately. i'm kind of attributing it to stress...i know i only have a few weeks of school left, but dang. i have so much work to do, it's stressing me the eff out. and did i mention how much i loathe group projects? because i do. a lot.

gar.

this school business is cramping my style

booooo. i'm pretty over college right now. i'm so close to being done (just the end of this year) and i'm really ready to not go to school for a few years. i do plan on going back and getting my master's degree, but i don't think that my parents believe me...they were asking me the other day about if i was gonna go back right away and get a secondary degree. my dad even suggested environmental engineering. i have no idea where that came from. i hate math and he knows it. the weirdest (but not really) thing is that he was pushing for a secondary degree so that i could make a lot of money. which he's never talked about before. it kinda freaked me out a little bit, actually :(

anyway. i know i'll be fine. i'm gonna get a good job, have them help me pay for my mba, then move up in the world until i get to baller status. no big deal. and besides, i don't think that i could settle for less. and it'll all work out in the end.

now back to studying!

wait. what's updoc? oh. i get it.

so. i went home for a little visit with the family this weekend. it was nice to see everyone. however, i'm pretty sure that my hometown is like a black hole of never getting things done as i got no homework finished. eep! however, i did get some delicious candy, a wig for halloween, and i made some white chocolate covered pretzels, which brings me to my next point.

i know that most people consider chocolate a candy, but i can't bring myself to think that way. i know this sounds weird, but most of my thinking is weird, so bear with me here. i don't see a chocolate bar, or pieces of solid chocolate, or box chocolates as being "candy." chocolate candy bars are different, ad they have other things added to them so they're more candy-like. but if you hand me a hunk of chocolate, i see it more as a baking ingredient. it's kind of in a class of it's own...in that, there's candy (which can include but is not limited to: jelly beans, sour gummy things, regular gummy things, skittles, starburst, juju beans, dots, chocolate candy bars, etc) and then there's chocolate. i know that i'm strange. i would make a chart to help you understand this concept better, but i have no time for that nonsense.

and in the candy spirit, and since it is halloween, i give you...

MY FAVORITE CANDY / CHOCOLATE SWEETS: a lesson in yum

5. twix.
cookie bar, caramel, and chocolate. sold. i love this candy bar. it may be the only one that i truly love, as i've never really been a huge candy bar person.this breaks the rules, thoug. it's not too big, not too full, and doesn't dry out like reese's does. perfecto.

4. bubbilicious strawberry splash gum.
huge, sweet, juicy, and never too sticky, this gum is the perfect gum for bubble blowing. i can get some as big as my head. which is huge. and delicious.

3. fannie may trinidads.
these amazing little chocolates give new meaning to the word decadence. i adore these white chocolate covered chocolate cremes all the way through, and they always bring back great memories of getting chocolates from my mom and dad on valentine's day. they are so good! not so good for you, but hey, what can you do? that's life. eat more trinidads.

2. strawberry sour belts.
a close second to my favorite. we have a love hate relationship...i love them, but they hate the roof of my mouth. thus, i can only have a few at a time. but as they say, distance makes the heart grow fonder, an i am indeed fond of these delicious treats. i guess i could go ahead and throw sour patch kids in on here too since they're practically the same thing and i love them as well.

1. skittles.
my fail safe, my life force, my absolute favorite. i could eat skittles for the rest of my life and be happy. i probably will. the original red package is the best, no matter what anyone says. i even have a special method of eating them. that's love.


other loves: kit kat, shocktarts, pop rocks, hershey's milk chocolate bar, mounds, starburst, candy buttons (!)


some of my least favorites include: smarties, peppermints, bottle caps, wax candy, pixie stix chocolate and mint combinations, cherry and chocolate combinations (ewwwww), peanut brittle, butterscotches, after dinner mints (most older candies, as you can see)


all this candy blogging makes me wish that i was little again so i could run around the neighborhood, pillowcase in tow, racing from house to house to get as much candy as possible before we had to go home and count the stash.

which reminds me of the best pete and pete episode ever: halloweenie.

watch and enjoy.

screw this

i know that living downtown has its perks...right next to school, close to the 'action' (or lack thereof in this city) but i swear, i am so fricking tired of getting stuff stolen from my house by the thieves of this city...i could just scream. two years ago, my very nice bike was stolen out of the garage. then, someone broke into my car, but took nothing because the alarm went off when they shattered the window. then, we got nice cushions for the front porch swing and put a plastic cover over them to protect them from the weather. two weeks later, the plastic cover disappears. and last night, someone stole one of the cushions. i flipping hate the stupid thieves in this city. learn to be a decent human being. it's not that hard. i realize that you might need it more than i do, but come on!

joining the mathletes in social suicide

the hellish midterm is over. and to that i say hells yes.

i had this idea the other day for a band to make an album, but to use lines (or related content) from a movie as their song titles. they don't need to have anything to do with the song content. i just thought it would be kinda funny. like an inside joke.

in that spirit, here's my first one, with all titles coming from the movie "Mean Girls."

1. Oh My God, Shut Up!

2. Don't Have Sex, Because You Will Get Pregnant and Die

3. You Smell Like a Baby Prostitute

4. You Can't Just Ask People Why They're White

5. I Know, Right?

6. I Did NOT Leave Harlem for This!

7. Trang Pak Made out With Coach Carr

8. That is the Ugliest Effing Skirt I Have Ever Seen

9. That Is So Fetch

10. He's Almost Too Gay To Function

11. We Should Totally Just Stab Caesar

12. I've Got A Big Lesbian Crush On You

13. Boo, You Whore


Album Title And My Favorite Line:

And On the Third Day, God Created the Remington Bolt-Action Rifle, So That Man Could Fight the Dinosaurs. And The Homosexuals.