blog? more like blugh.

ok my little sparrows. i know that you have (not) been waiting in eager anticipation of my return. i know the strain was almost too hard to bear. but fear not! i will not abandon you. i'll only make you wait for a while.

i suppose i'll write a bit more in this thing when i am out of school.

speaking of school, i am currently writing in here as a means of semi-procrastination (or maybe full-on procrastination) on writing my part of a large group paper on coke. as in, the kind you drink. anyway, this project is life-sucking mastery at its finest. a complete analysis of every portion of coke's strategy is not exactly the most fun way to spend your life. good news? it's almost over. the paper is due on thursday. this information is two parts yipes, one part yipee.

other things that are no parts yipee include my current state of mind. i have been feeling very off lately, like i'm in a weird mood that i can't shake. it's kind of a sad-meets-frustrated-meets-angry-meets-confused-meets- what the hell is this crap kind of feeling. again, to rehash a previous sentiment, does being aware of this mood make it any less valid? my boyfriend has this kind of annoying habit of trivializing it all by saying that i'm just overwhelmed. did i mention that i hate it when my feelings are trivialized? it's like someone says to you, "i know you think you feel a certain way, but you don't. and if you do feel something, just get over it. it doesn't matter." this is the point where i have to step back and say to myself, "self, in the long run, this doesn't matter. and they're only trying to help you, even if they are being insensitive. also, everyone goes through periods of time where they experience emotions. they will pass."

trust me, i realize i'm being weird. and possibly a bit hypocritical (see previous post about pretentious quarterlife show. that was a different story...their "condition" was far more accelerated than mine will ever be.) i realize it, and yet to some extent, i can't help it. to some extent, i can...like when i realize that i'm being bitchy, i stop. that's simple. the harder thing to do is to stop feeling things. that one takes a little more zen master and a little less mental spazz, the former of which eludes me and the latter of which has been my mentality for just about my entire life.

i need to write this paper now. that would be beneficial to all parties involved.

i think i'll move to australia.