story time

i don't always have the best stories. they usually just kinda...end. and don't really have a point. or are funny. but this one is good.

so after working on my icore project all day, i'm ready to get out of the library and relax for a bit. i find out my good friend jon is in town, so we make plans to go out to eat with two other friends, amy and jon s. we all drive downtown in two separate cars and jon s. and i decide to park in the mall garage. "don't worry about it," jon s. says, "i'll pick up the $1.50." we walk over to the restaurant and on the way, we pass a homeless dude and he's singing along with his walkman, so i smile at him because it's a pretty cute little sales pitch. we go to rock bottom brewery, and we're sitting outside, eating, telling stories, etc. when this homeless lady comes over and just sits down on the patio. the waitress comes out to tell her that she has to go through the restaurant to be sat on the patio, and the lady immediately gets hostile with her. another witress has to come out to ask her to leave, and the homeless lady starts spouting off with "i've lived in indy for 18 years, i'm 28 years old, i have five children, one died, i'm going crazy, blah blah..." i can't make out everything she's saying because it's a little jumbled. she finally leaves and on her way down the street starts screaming, "praise jeeeeesus! hallelujah! jesus is the loooooord and i love him! praaaaaiiiise jeeeesuuuuuussss!!!!!" getting louder and louder as she walks away, even including some getting on her knees and hands raised high theatrics to boot. it was a very strange moment in my life.

so we're getting ready to leave, and our waitress informs us that if we put everything on one bill we get a family discount because jon's "cousin" (actually just a friend) works there so we get a family discount. jon says, "sweet! i'll pick it up." this causes me to think, "sweet! i just got a $5 salad for free!"

we leave the restaurant, and as i'm heading home, jon s. decides to go with jon and amy in the other car. so i'm walking back to my car and i pass the same homeless dancing and singing walkman dude as earlier. but this time, he's got two friends. one looks like a typical homeless guy, but the other one looks like a regular(ish) person. he's pretty tattoed up, even on his neck, has gauged ears, black hair...so a cross between emo and punk. emopunk says to me, "hey, would you happen to have a dollar? and i'm not gonna lie to you, i'm gonna go myself a pint across the street." i appreciated his honesty and since i was in a charitable mood, decided to give him one. "sure," i said, "i appreciate the honesty, and really, i don't blame you for wanting a beer." so i opened up my wallet and gave him one of my two dollars. as i walked away, the walkman dude yelled at me, "since we're being honest, you're a dime piece!" for those not in the know, a dime piece means you're a ten. as in a 10 on a scale of 1 to 10. moving on.

i laughed and the emopunk yells, "he thinks you're beautiful!" to which i reply, "thanks!" and keep going on to the parking garage. so i get to my car and look in my ashtray, thinking i've got enough to cover the rest of the money i need to pay for parking. not so. i have about 14 cents in my ashtray. so i begin the search of my car for change and fine none. giving up, i go up four flights of stairs into the mall and find an atm, which charges me 2 dollars extra for taking out $20. rape!

i leave the parking garage (finally) after getting the money and start driving down the street. at my first stoplight, another homeless lady on the corner looks over and says, "do you have any change you could spare?" i have 50 cents from the parking garage (it cost $1.50 to get out) so i told her yeah and handed over the change. that's when it dawned on me.


+ $5.00 : free salad for dinner
- $1.00 : emopunk's beer
- $2.00 : atm rapage
- $1.50 : parking garage expenses
- $0.50 : homeless lady's beer (most likely)
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$0 : sometimes, life evens itself out.