conundrums and confusions

as i thought might happen eventually, i was laid off from my job on tuesday morning. the place where i worked isn't selling products like it used to be, so i became a victim of downsizing. i was upset at first, but i got over it a few hours later. yes, there were tears, but i came to the realization that now is the time to find a job that i really want! i went home and applied for four jobs, plus my awesome boyfriend found me another potential. also, next week i might meet with someone who's been in the business for a while that can possibly give me an inside way into an agency. the only problem with that is that it could be in a city that i'm not sure i want to move to. so there's a problem...move away from my boyfriend and friends and move to my family, or stay in the came city as my boyfriend? i really really don't want to move away from my boyfriend, but i wonder if we can make it through a one to two year long distance relationship? that way i could work in the big city for a little while, get some experience, and then get a job in my boyfriend's city at a good agency more easily. but i really don't want to mess up the really great thing we've got going on. i think it might depend on where i get an interview/where i am offered a job. i'm going to try not to worry too much about it right now and just focus on one thing at a time. step one: apply for jobs. (that's where i am) step two: get an interview and wow them. step three: get an offer. in the meantime, i've got severance and unemployment to tie me over. let the hunt begin!

i got a dental implant this morning and my mouth hurts, so i'm going to go eat some tapioca pudding now. yum!

upsetting news, folks

i am upset. my absolute favorite show, pushing daisies, has been cancelled. wtf, abc? a show is original and wonderfully heartwarming, with witty lines and exciting, plot-thickening stories, and you go off and cancel it? there's still so much story to tell! will chuck ever get to see her aunts again? will emerson ever find his li'l gumshoe? will olive find the love she so desperately craves? will ned and chuck ever be able to touch again? sigh. the only good thing is that the creator, bryan fuller, has decided to work with dc comics to finish out the story in comic book form. so at least there's that...but still. i am saddened. it's like my wednesday night companion has died.

i have a rare slow moment at work right now (as evidenced by the fact that i haven't blogged in AGES). it seems that all i do nowadays is work...9 hours a day has become my minimum. sure, the pay is great, but with it being winter and all, i barely get to see the sun anymore. i think that this has jolted my senses and i am suffering a touch of seasonal affective disorder. i am considering outting a sunlamp over my desk to ease these early winter blues. or i may move to florida. the old folks seem to be pretty happy there, so maybe i should give it a try.

the holidays are nigh. i have lots of trouble around this time of year in trying o figure out what to get for my family. my sister and mom are the worst. it's always so difficult to tell what they'll like, so i end up getting something that i hope they like and keeping the receipt, just in case. and i like to get meaningful gifts. i'm thinking that i could get either a spa package or a plane ticket to somewhere warm for my sister, and possibly some new clothes (which she'll probably return) or a massage for my mom. my brother keeps saying that he wants a ticket to greece, which brings up another issue -

should i go to greece this summer? if i go, it will be for a while. i don't want to go for just two weeks and then head back to the states...where's the vacation in that? i'd love to go for at least a month. and lots of my extended family is going, so it would be fun. but there's no job that would let me take that much time off work, so i'd probably need to be unemployed if i were to go. my boyfriend is probably not going to poland and he says that he would love to come over for a few weeks, so that would be fun...plus this is probably my last opportunity to go for quite a few years. i really really want to go, but do i want to spend all of my money on one trip? i've got some tough choices here. (but not that tough because, let's be honest, it's greece. NOT going would be the stupid decision.)

oh baby you... you got what i need

super exciting update in the life of yours truly! i still do not have a real job! it's totally shocking, i know.

actually, i got a serious yelling-at last week for my consistent late arrivals. i had agreed to be in by nine and was definitely not sticking to it (actually arriving somewhere between 10 and 12). i guess my boss finally had enough of my shit and she set me straight but good. to be honest, if i was her, i would have done the same thing. i've been taking advamtage of a loose system. but i've been coming in by nine all week and i think i can keep it up - though self control is not exactly my middle name, i need a good reference.

i might not be leaving this job soon, though. someone is going on maternity leave soon, and there's been a rumor going around that they want me to stay and fill in for her until february when she returns. no confirmation or offer has been made yet. if they do ask me, though...i'm thinking that i'm gonna ask for more money. they pay me peanuts as is and hell if i'm gonna do more work for the same price.


i'm thinking right now about becoming a big sister...it sounds like a good idea to focus on improving someone else's life instead of just thinking abut myself all the time. plus, i think i could be a good influence on a young girl's life. at least, i hope i could be. i feel like doing something good for the world, and hanging out with kids seems like a good way to do it. i don't think an hour a week is enough, though. two to three would be much better and allow more of a bond to be formed between us. now i just need to find references who'll vouch for my totally awesome big sister skillz. with a z.

i'm also thinking that i'm going to grow out my hair again...i'm tired of fussing with my bangs everyday. but they do cover up my forehead quite nicely. right now i'm leaning toward having longish bangs and hair to the top of my boobs. i think that would look good, but i would definitely not go too long so as to keep it looking at least somewhat professional.

in further news, this post is quickly proving that i may need adderall.

SHUT...UP

i was listening to "this american life" the other day (which, btw, is the greatest radio show/podcast ever created and if you don't listen to it, you should) and they had a segment about that voice inside your head. people described what the voice tells them, and how it justifies things so that people can do what they want to do. i realized that mine is totally the same way. for example, last night i went shopping and bought some new things. as shallow as it is, i like my things, and i like getting new things. the voice told me that it's ok to get some new things because i haven't in a while, and i was taking back a pair of shoes so it was ok to get stuff with the money i got back because it was already spent anyway. some days, it tells me that i don't have to go to the gym because i don't look that bad and my body is already appreciated by my boyfriend.

i talked with him (my boyfriend, not the voice) about this and he said that the more you become aware of the voice, the quieter it gets. to which the voice replied, "what the fuck does he know? and why does he think he's so smart? i'm smarter than him! the voice doesn't get quieter, it just gets easier to fight!"

honestly, i feel like i can't win.

anyway, this discussion about the voice then lead to a discussion about the existence of god, which is a frequent trouble topic in my mind. i revisit this same subject at least twice a week. i want to believe in something bigger, but the part of me that can't let go of the need for absolute truth has a hard time with the whole "faith" concept. also, i have lots and lots of issues with religion and the afterlife. if only one belief is the correct one, then billions of people are going to hell! and if only some beliefs are right, which ones are they? is the entire jewish population screwed because they don't believe in jesus? even though they're the "chosen people"? why can't i just follow my own religious path? can't i just do what i believe and hope for the best?

my boyfriend suggests that i go on a spiritual quest of sorts so that i can decide what feels right to me. i already feel as though i follow my own set of beliefs (mainly: do the right thing) but i have decided to take a different approach, as odd as it sounds...if god exists, god will prove itself to me. i may be screwing myself over when the apocalypse arrives, but this is the path i have chosen. (cue ominous music)

on a totally unrelated and tangental note, i really really like kanye west's new song.

i still don't have a real career-type job. but that's another post.

maybe i'll keep up with this more in the future.

so close i can taste it

on sunday, i celebrated my 22nd birthday. i went home for the weekend and spent some lovely quality time with my family. it was actually quite nice! lots of family came to see me and wish me a happy birthday, and i'm going to get a very practical gift from my parents of a fake tooth implant..weird, i know, but i've been wanting one for a while so i'm very very excited. the only problem with going home is that practically no homework gets done, so i'm taking off work early today to go home and finish my test for my last class. pretty amazing, i know. in addition to the test, i'm going to proof everyone else's papers (in my group) and put together our final report. i will most likely not be sleeping tonight. but that's ok, because it's all over on wednesday evening :)

this weekend, my friends and i are going to have a birthday dinner and bar hop downtown. that should be interesting. on my 21st birthday, i drank irresponsibly (not too much, just mixed) and was really sick the next day. on sunday, i have to work from 12 to 3, so i definitely can't be drinking like that. plus, i think that the medication i'm taking aggrivates the effects of drinking. this isn't necessarily bad news, since my body has a tough time handling alcohol anyways.

the boyfriend countdown has reached two weeks! i'm missing him terribly and i'm very excited for him to come home. it's going to be the best reunion ever :)

riddle me this

ok, kids. why is it that when i look for a flight for one person, the price is substantially lower than when i search for a flight for 5 people? haven't airlines ever heard of bulk discounting? it's insane...if 5 people are flying, that spreads out the fixed costs associated with running the plane more than one person flying does. those savings should be passed on to customers, but they're not. so what gives?

another conundrum that i have is with people who drive under the speed limit on the way to work. it puzzles me even more when the car that said slowpoke is driving is supposedly a "fast" car. whatthehellareyoudoing? do you not have somewhere to be right now? lucky you that you don't have to work and get to take lazy morning drives, but the rest of us are in a bit of a hurry! get the frick out of the left lane, mofo!

i am happy to report that i only have three class periods left until i am finito with my undergraduate degree! yessssss! i am so excited to not have class...plus, this will be the first time in summer that i don't have a course during the second half of summer. fawesome. i don't even know what wonderful things i am going to be doing with myself in all my free time! (joking, i don't actually have a ton of free time!)

my schedule will probably go something along these lines:
total hours in one week: 24*7= 168
eating: 1.5*7 = 10.5
weekdays: work 9-5+ (40 - 50 hours at most)
weekday nights:
hip hop dance on thursday nights: 2 hours
softball on friday nights: 4 hours
weekends:
yard/house work: avg 9 hours
sleeping: 8*7= 56 hours
left over: 37.5 hours!

that's 37.5 hours a week to spend on spending time with friends and family, looking for a job, reading, watching movies, shopping, playing music, creating art, working out, cooking, or whatever else i feel like! that is so dope. i will be doing my best to squeeze the most that i can out of those hours. maybe i'll take another dance class...or perhaps a spinning class! oh, that would be sweet for my buns of steel :)

also, i have about 20 days to go until my boyfriend gets home, meaning i'm halfway there! ahhh! i'm so excited to see him. i will most likely be tackling him in the airport...and i don't care what anyone thinks.

the usual bitchfest

good news, everyone! my boyfriend's mouth is now whole again, as he is sporting a lovely set of new front teeth. and at a third of the normal price. spectacular!

school will be over shortly enough - 12 days from tomorrow. i am sorta kinda counting down the seconds. however, these next two weeks will be work-filled and stress-ridden. wish me luck.

right now i am, as almost always, at work. i loathe the idea that i spend more time working than i do in the outside world. maybe i can get a job that affords me more time out of the office than in it. because it's not the "working" part that bothers me, it's the part about sitting in a cubicle for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. i recently saw a surveillance video of this dude freaking out at work and destroying the office, and i can sort of understand his pain. when i think about the fact that i've got YEARS of this crap to look forward to, it make me really sad inside. thank goodness i'm getting paid, or else none of this shite would be worth it. i'm also looking for more "career-like" jobs right now. my preference is toward something in the area that doesn't sound like a scam (which happens a lot when you're looking for a marketing job) and doesn't include the word "intern" in the title. i'm getting a little frustrated by the lack of real jobs available though, as a vast majority are either telemarketing or sales, both of which i hate. i can't stand being sold to, therefore i refuse to do a sales job.

"Right now, this is a job. If I advance any higher, this would be my career. And if this were my career, I'd have to throw myself in front of a train." - Jim Halpert

in other news, i have the house to myself for the next two weeks, save for the next two weekends, in which i will be traveling to my hometown for various reasons, including attending church and going to an eye doctor's appointment. i will also be celebrating my birthday and father's day. my mom asked me a month and a half ago if i was coming up for father's day, to which i replied, "but that's my birthday." she replied, "uuuhh, yeah" which basically meant that she didn't care whether o not it was my birthday, it was father's day that day so i needed to come up to them (instead of them coming down to see me.)

i know that i'm getting a little too old to make a big deal about my birthday. a good general rule is that when no one else cares about your birthday, you no longer have any right to make a fuss about it. however, i was planning on celebrating with friends that weekend, but i can't, as i will be two hours away from them. it's just annoying to have plans but them have them broken by your mom, who doesn't give a shit what you want to do, just what she wants you to do. i also understand that you can't have things both ways...my parents still fund my existence, so i can't NOT do what they want me to do. i'm ready to be financially independent so that i'm no longer leashed. i know that sounds terrible and i'll probably hate myself in the future for being such a selfish bitch, but i am frustrated right now.

i used to have a friend who tried all sorts of things to cut me off from my parents he didn't understand how you could live away from home but still be under the control of your parents. he didn't do what his parents said, even when he was still living at home. he felt that he was old enough to do what he wanted. but he didn't understand that it's not about age. it's about money. and as long as my parents financially support me, i am under their control. that's just how it is. and there's nothing that i can do about it, other than to get a job, make money, and move out or start taking over mortgage payments. all that, and stop complaining about it.

which is difficult, as i complain a lot.

yet another aspect of my personality that i have to either own up to, or change. sometimes, i discover something about myself that i really don't like. this complaining thing is one of them. but that's why i have a blog...so i can infest the internet with my stupidity, while (trying to) keeping other people free of it. what i really need to do is get my head out of my butt, fix the things i don't like about myself, and get over the things that i can't. i am sure the world would be a better place for it. actually, in all likelihood, the world wouldn't give a shit, because it never did in the first place.

revelation for the day over. i'm out.

substantial evidence

i have come to the conclusion that my boyfriend and i suck at life without each other :)

maybe not really, but since we've been apart, he's broken his front tooth and i've gotten sick enough to (probably) go to the hospital today.

so this is awesome.

fyi: coke zero + brownies = awesome

ahhh, work. that delightful daily chunk of life that is sucked away from me. how i love you so.

actually, work isn't all bad. it's a time for me to catch up on homework, blog (occasionally), and read articles on cnn and nymag.com. and work. sometimes. just kidding.

anyways. my wonderful boyfriend is about to leave me for five-ish weeks while he goes to poland and russia. FUCK. there goes half of my heart... i will most likely be sloppily blogging about the extent to which i am missing him over that period of time. be prepared for some extreme sappiness. and occasional crying.

speaking of crying, i have been kind of an emotional mess lately. i don't know what it is, but my usual brand of light stoicism has given way to full-blown teenage girl emotional wreck city. not cool. it probably has a lot to do with the aforementioned departure of my favorite person. i am not preggers, i assure you. however, it seems like the littlest things can set me off. like a cancer commercial... that was embarrassing. but i'm feeling kinda moody, and with no real reason as to why. i think i need to start working out again. then i'll be able to blow off some steam while getting a hotter bod, and i'll be too tired to pay attention to whatever little thing i would normally decide to let bother me. plus, there's a lot more shit that's happening in the world right now to worry about my so called "feelings"...hormones are way less important than cyclones and earthquakes in third world countries.

and speaking of things being crappy, i am sort of hating my last undergraduate class. i am praying that june 18th gets here quickly. my spring semester went well though - 3 a's and one a minus. not too shabbayyyy.

i will be taking a trip out to pittsburgh to visit some family this weekend. it should be an enjoyable experience, though i have a feeling that my cousin will try to get me outrageously drunk, which my body absolutely cannot handle. boo :( oh well! i'm planning on having fun anyway, regardless of whether or not i throw up until i pop a blood vessel in my eye.

one thing i do have to look forward to over the coming weeks is the return of summer! mmmm, my favorite time of year. i'm going to probably go out a ton with firends and just generally try to have the best summer that i can. i'm also going to take a hip hop dance class, join a softball league, and since i'm 21, go to as many shows as possible. i also have some wonderful friends, and i know that they'll keep me occupied with things to do in my temporarily single state. thank goodness for them :)

aaaand i'm spent.

story time

i was supposed to be done with finals today. i had two super hard ones on the same day too! anyway, i was getting ready to go to school and take my final this morning when my phone rings. someone from my class asks me, "are you ok?" and i replied, "yes, why? oh no, what time is the final?" he says,"uhm, i just got done taking it." i thought he was kidding, but he was not.

the class is at 10:30 usually, so i thought the final was at ten. it was not. it was at 8. my friend called me at 9:40.

i completely flipped out and drove to school as fast as i could. this final is worth 50% of my final grade, and i could have just wasted an entire semester worth of work because my dumb ass didn't find out the right time.

i busted in the room at 9:58 and there were still a few people left. my professor's face lit up and he said, "there you are! i was worried about you!" by this time i'm on the verge of tears and about 4 people have called to see where i was.

so i sat down, ready to accept my fate of failing the class. however, my professor (who is a former vice president of mastercard international, btw) says, "it's ok. i'm gonna let you take the test, but can you do it thursday night? i have meetings to go to right now."

i nearly passed out. by this time, i was so worked up, i started crying a little anyway. i thanked him profusely and promised him that i would be there. i also wasn't the only one who had missed the final!

my prof told me that he knows i'm a hard worker and that he thinks i'm a good student, so he was worried when i didn't show up...which is always a nice thing to hear.

moral(s) of the story:
- sometimes, when you screw up, you get a second chance.
- work your butt off and you'll get rewarded.
- when in doubt, find out!

p.s. this professor knows that i keep a journal, so as i was leaving the room to go to my car and let out my barge of emotions into my steering wheel (i had a lot going on, i needed to cry it out!) he says to me, "hey, you've got a great story to write about today!" it made me laugh a little, mostly because it was true. it is a good story.

now i have to go study a bunch and kick the exam's ass. redemption shall be mine.

my two-second update

omg FINALS. brb.

oh rly

oh goodness, a new blog within a month! land sakes! the world's gone mad!

well...right now i would usually be in class, but i slept very little last night (due to putting together the biggest group project of all time) and i fell asleep while trying to read around 3:30. in my chair. at my desk. i was o-u-t for at least a half an hour...in a chair. so i figured, when i woke up around 4, that i should take a little nap until 5ish, when i was supposed to go to school for class. that didn't happen. i was dead to the world until 6ish when i woke up in a panic because i was supposed to go to class and do discussion questions in class and take a quiz. however, i hadn't read the chapter and wasn't remotely prepared, so i decided to stay home instead. i know, it's bad to skip class, but i figured it would be okay just this once. plus i have two drop quizzes in that class, and this is the first one i've missed. so it's not that terrible.

or maybe i'm just trying to make myself feel better.

anyway, this morning my group turned in this huge strategic investigation on coca cola that we've been working on constantly. it ended up being about 32 pages of explanation on what coke does, where, how, why, when, what they should do, etc. it got tiring quickly, so i'm glad it's over. we also got an a on a case we wrote about stabucks, and i got an a on an individual case analysis! this seems like no big to most people, but my professor is kind of a genius, and he has really high standards. i love my business strategies class...this prof is so smart, it's a little ridiculous. plus, he's entertaining. oh, and he is the former president of three big companies, and the former vp of mastercard. so that class is definitely worth my time.

and...today he gave me a huge compliment. he told me that i am a very good writer, and i'm "obviously a head and shoulder above most other people in my class." this guy isn't the type to dole out compliments like candy, so it meant a lot. i definitely have to step up the game now, because good is never good enough.

in somewhat depressing news, the company that i really want to work for was featured in the newspaper as being a great place to work. so now i feel like i'm going to be pushed out by more "qualified" people. i would live to work for this company, though...they really are amazing and they are exactly what i want to do, marketing and advertising solutions for outside businesses. i'm definitely going to go in soon and hand-submit a resume and cover letter and try to get some face time in. i sent one via email almost a week ago and i haven't heard anything back, so maybe an in-person visit will help the cause.

speaking of causes, i know of some orange juice that's in desperate need of drinking. i feel obliged to help out, because it's a pretty worthy cause.

blog? more like blugh.

ok my little sparrows. i know that you have (not) been waiting in eager anticipation of my return. i know the strain was almost too hard to bear. but fear not! i will not abandon you. i'll only make you wait for a while.

i suppose i'll write a bit more in this thing when i am out of school.

speaking of school, i am currently writing in here as a means of semi-procrastination (or maybe full-on procrastination) on writing my part of a large group paper on coke. as in, the kind you drink. anyway, this project is life-sucking mastery at its finest. a complete analysis of every portion of coke's strategy is not exactly the most fun way to spend your life. good news? it's almost over. the paper is due on thursday. this information is two parts yipes, one part yipee.

other things that are no parts yipee include my current state of mind. i have been feeling very off lately, like i'm in a weird mood that i can't shake. it's kind of a sad-meets-frustrated-meets-angry-meets-confused-meets- what the hell is this crap kind of feeling. again, to rehash a previous sentiment, does being aware of this mood make it any less valid? my boyfriend has this kind of annoying habit of trivializing it all by saying that i'm just overwhelmed. did i mention that i hate it when my feelings are trivialized? it's like someone says to you, "i know you think you feel a certain way, but you don't. and if you do feel something, just get over it. it doesn't matter." this is the point where i have to step back and say to myself, "self, in the long run, this doesn't matter. and they're only trying to help you, even if they are being insensitive. also, everyone goes through periods of time where they experience emotions. they will pass."

trust me, i realize i'm being weird. and possibly a bit hypocritical (see previous post about pretentious quarterlife show. that was a different story...their "condition" was far more accelerated than mine will ever be.) i realize it, and yet to some extent, i can't help it. to some extent, i can...like when i realize that i'm being bitchy, i stop. that's simple. the harder thing to do is to stop feeling things. that one takes a little more zen master and a little less mental spazz, the former of which eludes me and the latter of which has been my mentality for just about my entire life.

i need to write this paper now. that would be beneficial to all parties involved.

i think i'll move to australia.

effin' a, cotton

so right now, i am officially on spring break. this is both a good thing, and a bad thing. it's a good thing because it's a break from school (but not work...i'm actually working more to earn some money) but it's a bad thing because i know that after break is when all the crappy work of the semester starts. after break is when everyone starts freaking out about group projects, and classes go through the material faster, and individual projects start needing to get done. guh. thankfully it's only a month and a half of hell, then i only have one more class til i graduate! wowowowowow. how did that happen?

speaking of graduation, i seriously need to figure out my career gameplan. i could start by actually applying for some jobs. that could help.

in other news, i am feeling slightly irate right now because i finally broke down and took out the garbage that's been sitting on the back porch for the better part of a week now. my sister has this habit of putting the garbage right outside the door and then just letting it sit there for a godawful amount of time instead of taking an extra minute to walk to the garage and put it in the bin. it's as annoying as all hell to me because i hate walking by it every day and knowing that she does too. and in the summer, when she does the same thing and the raccoons tear into the bag and scatter garbage around the porch, she still won't take care of it! i waited for a week the last time it happened and she never cleaned it up. i got so pissed that i just did it myself. needless to say, it was gross and infuriating. i need to tell her to cut it out. seriously.

i also had a test tonight that i studied all day for. i went in feeling pretty good about it. things got better when the professor told us that it was open book and note for the essay section. flipping sweet. it was a nice end to the week.

my stomach's about to eat itself. i gotta go.

peace, love, and beats.

welcome to the world, baby

hmmm. i am in a funk today. i don't know what it is, but i'm feeling really off. does knowing that you're in a funk but not knowing what to do about it make it any less funk-ified? probably. it's at least a step in the right direction.

i'm really tired of winter and being cold all the time. i'm tired of hating 2 out of four classes and feeling apathetic about the other 2. i'm tired of trying to convince myself that i want to do homework and i want to study, but really, i don't. and i'm tired of sounding like a whiny 5 year old when i really need to grow the hell up.

i watched some of this new show called "quarterlife" and it was some of the most pretentious drivel i've heard in a long time. it was honestly quite terrible! the show revolved around a group of 25 year old people who collectively wallowed in their self-induced misery while subsequently wondering, "what does it all mean? what am i doing with my life? will i ever be happy/satisfied? etc etc etc."

fucking spare me.

i will not ever be like that. sure, i have off days (who doesn't) but i refuse to let my life be ruled by an emotion that could quite easily be quelled by simply removing your head from your butt. hey, i realize that you're confused/lonely/apathetic. so is everyone else. get over yourself. life is what it is, so just go with it, try to have a good time, and stop worrying so much about what's going to happen. trust me when i say this to you: everything will work itself out, one way or another. just go with it.

i'm still working on that last part myself. i realize that i worry about things that i probably don't need to and don't even want to think about things that i probably should be, but i'm working on it.

for example, just today i decided to stop bitching to myself about my weight issues and joined a website to help me count calories and stay on track to lose some pounds before summer. i don't think that i'm fat by any means, i'm just not where i want to be. and if i learn how to take care of myself now, it'll be easier to maintain in the future. no big.

switching subjects now... today in my philosophy class i got yelled at by my teacher...twice. he's kind of a self-righteous dude who doesn't like anyone even whispering while he's talking, or about to talk. he asks if anyone has any questions or comments a few times during his lecture, then interrupts students with his own opinions while they're talking and talks over them until they are forced to quit voicing their opinions. anyway, i was talking to a classmate before class today and didn't realize that he was wanting to start class. next thing i know everyone is staring at me and the prof says something along the lines of sarcastically asking if he may start class. that kinda ticked me off because i felt the way that he handled it was unnecessarily embarrassing. about half way through class, after i had written around two pages of notes on pretty much everything that comes out of his mouth, i glanced over at my friend's notebook and noticed that he had about two lines of notes. i laughed quietly to myself and when my friend asked what i was laughing about, i made a hand gesture that indicated he had a small amount of notes where i had a lot. my prof then called me out and was like, "do you have an observation that you'd like to share with the class? because if you do, we'd like to hear it. otherwise, i expect you to pay attention." i felt like a 3rd grader all over again. i realize that he has a short temper and doesn't want anyone fraternizing in class, but again, i don't exactly appreciate being called out in front of my entire class. it was just frustrating and humiliating. don't tell other people not to talk while you're talking but then talk over anyone else whom you "allow" to speak.

gah. i need a nap. sorry for the randomness.

my celebrity best friends

inspired by this post on pajiba, here's who i would hang out with and what we would do if i could choose any celebrity for a friend.

breakfast at an obscure-but-delicious diner with john cusack
bowling with the superbad boys
mix-tape making with quentin tarantino
sunning on the beach / deep talking with johnny depp
shopping with rachel bilson and grace kelly
putt putt golf and general hang out time with ellen page
baking and decorating cupcakes with justin timberlake
rock band / general jam session with brandon boyd
bar kareoke with zooey deschanel
paintball with heath ledger
going on a walk and talk with natalie portman
dinner and drinks with the ocean's 13 cast
sleepover with flight of the conchords (jermaine and brett!)
getting ice cream with the cast of i heart huckabees

other celebrities that would be cool to do anything with: phillip seymour hoffman, edward norton, joseph gordon-levitt, wes anderson, brendan fraiser, tim burton, helena bonham carter, kate winslet, jim carrey, patton oswalt, zach galifinakis, shia labeouf, simon pegg and nick frost, etc.

it could happen.

dammit

i really liked heath. boo.