the usual bitchfest

good news, everyone! my boyfriend's mouth is now whole again, as he is sporting a lovely set of new front teeth. and at a third of the normal price. spectacular!

school will be over shortly enough - 12 days from tomorrow. i am sorta kinda counting down the seconds. however, these next two weeks will be work-filled and stress-ridden. wish me luck.

right now i am, as almost always, at work. i loathe the idea that i spend more time working than i do in the outside world. maybe i can get a job that affords me more time out of the office than in it. because it's not the "working" part that bothers me, it's the part about sitting in a cubicle for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. i recently saw a surveillance video of this dude freaking out at work and destroying the office, and i can sort of understand his pain. when i think about the fact that i've got YEARS of this crap to look forward to, it make me really sad inside. thank goodness i'm getting paid, or else none of this shite would be worth it. i'm also looking for more "career-like" jobs right now. my preference is toward something in the area that doesn't sound like a scam (which happens a lot when you're looking for a marketing job) and doesn't include the word "intern" in the title. i'm getting a little frustrated by the lack of real jobs available though, as a vast majority are either telemarketing or sales, both of which i hate. i can't stand being sold to, therefore i refuse to do a sales job.

"Right now, this is a job. If I advance any higher, this would be my career. And if this were my career, I'd have to throw myself in front of a train." - Jim Halpert

in other news, i have the house to myself for the next two weeks, save for the next two weekends, in which i will be traveling to my hometown for various reasons, including attending church and going to an eye doctor's appointment. i will also be celebrating my birthday and father's day. my mom asked me a month and a half ago if i was coming up for father's day, to which i replied, "but that's my birthday." she replied, "uuuhh, yeah" which basically meant that she didn't care whether o not it was my birthday, it was father's day that day so i needed to come up to them (instead of them coming down to see me.)

i know that i'm getting a little too old to make a big deal about my birthday. a good general rule is that when no one else cares about your birthday, you no longer have any right to make a fuss about it. however, i was planning on celebrating with friends that weekend, but i can't, as i will be two hours away from them. it's just annoying to have plans but them have them broken by your mom, who doesn't give a shit what you want to do, just what she wants you to do. i also understand that you can't have things both ways...my parents still fund my existence, so i can't NOT do what they want me to do. i'm ready to be financially independent so that i'm no longer leashed. i know that sounds terrible and i'll probably hate myself in the future for being such a selfish bitch, but i am frustrated right now.

i used to have a friend who tried all sorts of things to cut me off from my parents he didn't understand how you could live away from home but still be under the control of your parents. he didn't do what his parents said, even when he was still living at home. he felt that he was old enough to do what he wanted. but he didn't understand that it's not about age. it's about money. and as long as my parents financially support me, i am under their control. that's just how it is. and there's nothing that i can do about it, other than to get a job, make money, and move out or start taking over mortgage payments. all that, and stop complaining about it.

which is difficult, as i complain a lot.

yet another aspect of my personality that i have to either own up to, or change. sometimes, i discover something about myself that i really don't like. this complaining thing is one of them. but that's why i have a blog...so i can infest the internet with my stupidity, while (trying to) keeping other people free of it. what i really need to do is get my head out of my butt, fix the things i don't like about myself, and get over the things that i can't. i am sure the world would be a better place for it. actually, in all likelihood, the world wouldn't give a shit, because it never did in the first place.

revelation for the day over. i'm out.