so anyway

i'm going to be away for a few days, so i figured i would throw in a new post while i could. not too terribly much has been happening lately. still no job or prospects. still applying and searching daily. still just a teeny bit depressed. in good news, i get my beautiful permanent tooth on friday, so yay on that!

i was watching a show today about emotional infidelity. to sum it up, this entails having affairs and cheating on your spouse without actually having sex. so this can cover lots of things from flirting, to exchanging explicit messages, to emotionally involving yourself with someone to a degree that pushes past friendships. i discussed this with my brother and his reply was, "it's always about the sex!" unfortunately, he's correct. i have friends of the opposite sex (as well as those of the same sex) but my boyfriend is always a little worried/suspicious when i hang out with them. i would never ever cheat on my boyfriend or intentionally do anything to upset him/hurt his feelings, but i would like to maintain friendships with people outside our group, regardless of whether or not they're the same sex as i am.

but this show hit really hard. i started wondering - was my hang outs with my friends of the opposite sex causing undue strain on my relationship with my boyfriend? i do not flirt with my guy friends at all and my relationship with them is much like the one that two guys would have. i also make it very clear that i am not interested in anything other than friendship, and i do my best not to be alone for an extended period of time with any guy that isn't my boyfriend. i had a discussion with my boyfriend on this subject and he assured me of his trust in me. and to be honest, if my boyfriend had close friends that were girls that he hung out with, without me around, i'd be wary too.

i guess what i'm getting at is that i think the whole situation sucks. if everyone was faithful to their partners, this would never ever be a problem. guys could be friends with girls with no negative reprocussions. and it really sucks for girls like me, who are more comfortable around guys and find it easier to be friends with them. i've had girls burn me big time in the past, so i prefer not to have a big group of them as friends. one on one is best with girls...too many and things start getting catty. big girl groups always have some serious issues, with things usually dissolving into infighting and backstabbery. i wouldn't say it if it wasn't true.

i think that there's a couple of really big things that could help with the subject of emotional infidelity.

1. maturity. when you get into a relationship, you have to recognize that you are no longer allowed to act the way you once did. no more kissing strange men in bars or dancing on tables. you've got to be mature and behave like an adult. you are no longer acting and thinking just for yourself anymore. now you're dealing with another person's opinions, feelings, and emotions. if you're not ready to give up strange dick, don't get into a relationship. and don't use the relationship as a crutch. you absolutely must learn how to stand on your own and guide your own life before intertwining it with another's.

2. communication. lots of relationships go down the tubes because people refuse to be open and honest about their actions, feelings, opinions, and emotions. you cannot expect your relationship to last if you don't understand how the other person feels and vice versa. i personally still have issues with this topic in the relationship with my sister. i know that it's hard to overcome the stubbornness, the confusion, and the unwillingness to back down , or at the opposite, the trepidation to hurt the other person's feelings. but it will actually strengthen your relationship in the long run (and at worst, end it before it becomes toxic). i know i should really be taking my own advice right now, but it's something that i struggle with almost every day... as i keep working on it, things will get better. time and hard work is the formula for success.

enough soapboxing for today. i watch dr. phil ONE TIME and he's got me ranting....definitely not letting that happen again. i'll stick with ellen from now on. more dancing and less counseling is the way to go. fo sho. yo.